Welcome to the "World of Blog" Penny's 121 English Class!
English 121 Students:
This is a space for you to provide commentary on the short story "Scratch Ticket" by Corey Charron. To leave a comment, click the "comments" button on the bottom right of this post. When you post your comment, be sure to choose an identity as "other" and post your name (so your comments can be responded to). All comments are sent to a moderator before being posted.
Respond honestly, thoughfully and thoroughly! How many times have you been offered the chance to converse with the author of a story you have read?
Be curious.
Respond to each other's comments.
Have fun.
- Robin Martin
posted by Corey Charron @ 4:20 PM
39 comments
39 Comments:
The description in this story was done very well. I really enjoyed reading the descriptions of when Alice was digging through the garbage cans to find food, and her reaction when she found out that she won money from a scratch ticket she found in a wallet from the trash. At one part in the story, the author’s description of Alice’s mouth was a little too gory; “For a moment the clerk looked startled- maybe afraid or perhaps just repulsed by her lips that were cracked and oozing pus, and her nearly toothless mouth –and then he looked away.”
Corey Charron’s main character Alice is just like any woman you would find on the street. She stands up for herself and she does not have a care in the world about what people might think about her. In the story she shows this when a lady walks past her and gives Alice looks of disgust; “What you looking at? Do I make you feel uncomfortable or something? Because I’ve got just as much right to be here as you or anyone else.”
It took me awhile to get into the story and by the time I was, the story was finished. I found the ending very abrupt and I had a few questions about what happened to a few things in the story that just disappeared. There was the unscratched ticket that just fell to the floor when Alice realized she had a winning ticket; what happened to that ticket? Was it to show she was just greedy and didn’t care what else could happen, I would really like to know. I also wondered what happened to Alice after the story ended. Did she ever win or find more money?
I think this short story was very well written. It had excellent description and use of literary devices which gives the reader a very good mental picture of the scene, such as the line “scars crisscrossed her hands like train tracks at a shpping yard.”
The story was much more like real life then most short stories, which made it very interesting, although it is not the type of story that I would normally read. It was very believable in that it could have happened in real life, and that there are people like that living on the streets.
The character of Alice was also much more real then most. She, unlike most characters, was not made to make you feel sorry for her, even though she was an older woman living on the streets, she was an alchoholic, and continuously made rude comments to the people walking by. Also, when she had a chance to turn her life around, she instead continued her bad habits and lost her chance at a better life.
The plot of the story was not really to my liking, and I most likely would not have read it on my own. I felt the ending was a bit rushed and left it at a bit of a cliffhanger, although it is likely that Alice would continue as she had been throughout the story. Also, some things throughout the story were just left out with no explanation, such as the third scatch ticket.
Overall I really like the story. I thought it was hilarious. My favorite part of the whole story is when Alice is in the stall and it has just sunk in that she won $10000. She jumps up off the toilet seat, pounds the door, startling the girl in the stall beside her, and the girl farts and tells her to shut her yap! I also liked how descriptive it was. The scars on her hands gave an excellent image as to what her hands really looked like, and what she had to go through sometimes just to get a bite to eat. (Out of time. Gotta go)
I thought that “The Scratch Ticket” was a very well written short story. The description and imagery was very good throughout the whole story and I also like how it was honest and realistic about homeless people and describes what everyday life would be like for someone like Alice. Like when she’s going through the garbage looking for food and money, describing what she looks like and how the police and other people treat her.
I liked how you really got to know the character and you could imagine her in your mind and I also liked how the story didn’t have a happy, fairy tale ending, it was more realistic.
One thing I didn’t like was how the story just ended. I would have liked it better if it had told us what happened to Alice after she lost the scratch ticket. Did she continue to live on the streets for the rest of her life or did she get better? And what happened to the third scratch ticket that Alice didn’t notice fall to the floor?
Overall I thought it was a very good story and enjoyed reading it.
I really enjoyed your story, "Scratch Ticket." I'm not sure what you were trying to get across, but I can tell you what I took from the story, and why. I thought you were trying to dispell the notion that it is very easy for someone in a position like Alice's to turn things around. Before reading this, and perhaps without carefully considering the scenario, i would have thought that if a homeless alcoholic won a 10 000 dollar jackpot, they would be able to get their life together. As it showed in the story, this may not be the case. It seemed Alice was too numb to her surroundings and accustomed to her lifestyle that she could not lead a normal existence. She even said in the story that she didn't think she'd be able to sleep in a bed anymore. Alice was so deep into her alcoholism that she embraced the disease, and even went so far as to acknowledge what it had cost her. Fromm this, we know that Alice cannot possibly help herself, even if she is given 10 000 dollars. The homeless need the help and support of other people in order to pick themselves up. The mixed response of neglect and abuse she recieved from passersby prevented her from overcoming her disease. At least this is what I took from the story......well done.
I found the form in which you wrote the story was different than the typical style. Why did you write the story in the form that you did?
I found that in this story you gave us a great desctiption of how the homeless in the world have to struggle every day and risk their lives basically to survive. What was your reaosn or your motivation to tell the world about this?
Secondly you wrote something that not many people write about and that was how the homeless of our world see things. Why they react the way that they do, and how they are treated no respect. Where did you get the idea to do this?
Finally i would like to know what the actual theme or moral is to this story?
I believe that this is a very good story which you have written here, and it has opened my eyes and probably many other eyes to the true cruelties that our world is heir to.
What I liked about this story is Alice’s character it was very real. The plot was also very real, especially the minor events. However, my favorite part was definitely the ending.
I really enjoyed Alice’s character being exposed throughout the story. Her daily routine and loneliness really struck a chord in me. However, it wasn’t one of pity but it was one of relation to the character. Although I don’t see myself like her, as a teenager I see many people, even friends of mine, leading down that path. They aren’t quite there yet but it could easily happen.
The overall major plot was good but what I really like about the plot were the minor events thrown in there and dialogue between Alice and common people, for example when she interacts with people such as the college couple, the religious women, the stork clerk etc. Not too many writers would have the guts to use the type of real language that’s in the story. It’s not very common to see in books or even movies however, we see and hear it everyday on the street, which is why this story is very plausible.
The ending however, is what I really liked about the story, although many people like the traditional happy ending or even tragic shock, this story is more realistic. She started off a bum and ends up a bum there wasn’t much change, but we see her character very well. It shows the vicious cycle of, bums, alcoholics and the many people who fall innocent victim to a lifestyle similar to hers. It’s not your everyday Hollywood ending and it’s a refreshing change.
Overall I really enjoyed the story and I couldn’t pick out anything that I specifically didn’t like. I hope to read more of his work.
Well our class was assigned to read "The Scratch Ticket" and give our opinions on it. So here's was I thought!
There are many things that I liked about the short story, however, there are also things that I disliked. The aspect that really caught my attention was how realistic it was. It did not have that happy ending where everyone gets what they want. I really enjoyed that as it added to the reality of the story. I love how it shows how alcoholics will do anything for a drink; it really makes you stop and think. Alice didnt know the difference between what she needed and what she wanted. I was also very fond of your description. You wrote incredible imagery that created a perfect picture in my mind.
The ending with Alice losing the ticket by wanting more booze was a great idea; however, in my opinion the ending was too short. It just seemed as though you through everything together to form an ending. Also the ending was way too predictable. I knew that she was going to lose the ticket just shortly after she got it. Another thing that I liked about the ticket was the fact that she forgot all about the third one. She was so caught up about the second one and how she would go and buy more booze with the money. It really shows her character and the fact that she did not even consider trying to clean herself up to make a real living. All she wanted was more booze and maybe a place to stay until the money ran out, then she would go back to being a bum on the street.
Overall, I thought the story was very well written, besides the ending. However, if the ending was improved it would be a great story.
I liked this short story. There was good use of imagery and description. I liked how this story was realistic and not done in fairy-tale style. Also, it was a very honest story. The author did not try to sugarcoat the story.
"Scratch Ticket" has a very ironic plot. Alice has this one opportunity to change her life around, to pick herself up, and after a life of addiction and poverty, she finally has the chance at wonderful opportunities. However, she is less excited about changing her life and more excited aout how she will be able to afford more booze and a few new clothes. It is ironic that she gives away her scratch ticket worth 10,000 dollars for a couple of drinks, when that 10,000 dollars would hae provided so much more.
I liked, and found it interesting how Alice wasn't even very upset when she found out that she lost the ticket and could never get it back. It was like she never actually had much hope for herself in the first place.
I found the short story "Scratch Ticket" was different. The writing style of this story wasn't like any of the usuall short story's I have read. Overall I found the story was good. I sometimes felt that it was to descriptive where other time it wasn't enough. There was a good prespective of what it is truely like to be homeless. I also feel the reason behind the hatefulness and rudeness of the homeless to other is a given. People don't think of the homeless as humans, they don't really thiunk of them at all. They expect them to be rude so why not be, and I really feel like I've learned from it. I really like how you wrote a story like this one because the people who read this might get a different view of the other side like have.
I thought that the short story "Scratch Ticket" written by Corey Charron was very well done. It was very well written. The main character Alice was a very interesting character. Throughout the whole story you really got to know her and really got a very good insight on how she felt about her situation. Also the author did a great job at discribing her surroundings. You could see in your mind where she was and what she was doing. A good example was at the beginning when he tells about Alice digging through a garbage can searching for food. You could picture in your mind a lady digging through a garbage can in an ally somewhere. The only thing that I would have liked to know more about was Alice. It would have been interesting to find out more about her background and how she ended up on the streets. Although you could imagine that her excessive drinking may have lended a hand in her living on the streets without any money, looking in garbage cans for food and sleeping in allies. What I also found to be surprising about the short story was the ending. I was very surprised to read Alice's reaction towards loosing a ticket worth ten thousand dollars. She seemed upset at first, but then began not to care about loosing the ticket. By the end she was more worried about finding her backpack than giving away a winning ticket for a couple of free drinks. In the end felt that the story was very well written. i would have liked to have known a little more about Alice and her situation in life. However the story as is was very well done.
First and foremost I would like to begin by saying what a treat this is to be able to actually interact with the authors of the literature that we students read. So often we learn about Shakespeare and other deceased writers, but it’s very beneficial to discuss our interpretations instead of being told what they should be.
As I began reading the "Scratch Ticket" I was very taken with the excellent use of sense imagery. I found myself cringing at some points and shivering in the next, as if I was there with Alice, taking on the rough street life she endured everyday. The story continued on, each paragraph exposing a new character trait into developing her character. Although by the end of it, we were left with nothing but a stereotypical bum. Unfortionatly I was hoping for something more, maybe a little insight to why her life ended up the way it did, and how she turned so bitter. You had an opportunity to shed a new light on peoples insight on the life of the homeless, but you chose to go the other route and expose what we see and hear about, the ones who make the wrong choices and just end up being burned again in the end. Don’t get me wrong, I completely respect your choice, the story was absolutely wonderful and extremely accurate. And to have another “sugar coated” story just so we citizens can sleep at night is far from my point also. All I’m trying to imply is that as a reader, I was able to guess the conclusion of the story before I had reached it, when I was really hoping to be proven wrong. Please do not regard this comment as a stab at your writing, your technique is unbelievable and I only hope to gain an ounce of your writing capability some day.
First off I’d like to say I liked your story. It’s not something I would pick up and read for the hell of it but it is a good story.
I found that it was well written but in some places it kind of left me hanging…like what happened to the other scratch ticket? It seemed like that was going to be important but then it was just forgotten.
I liked Alice’s character. She wasn’t that rounded but she was rounded enough to be effective. I am glad you were able to capture the ugliness of her situation. The scarred hands, her teeth, it was all very good description. I really liked how you captured her alcoholism. You were able to make is seem real and believe able and it was exaggerated. The story was able to get a strong feeling of anger and frustration out of me when she ends up back in the same situation she was in in the beginning.
I liked the whole concept of the story, and the situation that she was in, it was something that I don’t usually see in a short story.
I think my favorite part of the story was the ending. It shows how some one in Alice’s position can’t help themselves sometimes. She had a gift handed to her; she could have picked her life up and changed it around. But because of the endless cycle she is stuck in with the boozes and drinking so much she blacks out and doesn’t remember anything. I liked the ending because she ended up in the exact same spot that she was in, in the beginning of the story. She’s back digging threw garbage cans and scrounging for a bit of money and food. It’s the same way with real alcoholics, if they do not get help they are stuck in a cycle that will ruin their lives. I think that’s why I liked it so much, because it makes her seem real.
First of all I would like to say I really enjoyed reading the Scratch Ticket. Partly because of the message it teaches us about life in general, and also because I found it entertaining to read the thought process of a dunk and homeless person. I enjoyed the way we are set inside Alice's head and hear what she thinks; how paranoid and uncaring she really is. We are kind of detatched from her at a personal level though, like we aren't made to feel sympathy for her. I feel that is a great way to get the moral across to us. We are trying to be taught to live our lives respectfully so we don't turn out like this, not to feel sorry for her.
I also wanted to say that the use of description was exceptional. While I was reading the story I was unconsciously visualizing everything Alice was doing and I love when a story can do that for me. Although at some parts I had to re-read what I had just read to really understand exactly what Alice was doing. For example,
"She took off her backpack, and puled out a cough drop tin filled with butts she's collected from the mirrired ashtrays commuters stubbed their cigarettes out in before entering the station where smoking was not allowed... she pushed the battered box of cigarette ends through the swinging door."
To make this fairly descriptive insert a bit easier to understand I would have continued referring to the "tin" and the "butts" and their original nouns. Later they are referred to as a "box" and "ends" which gave me the impression that there were two packs of cigarettes. Just a bit confusing. I also found the description to be a bit overwhelming but I found that emphasized Alice's extreme paranoia and how she over analyzes situations and spends her time watching the people around her.
I really enjoyed how the whole way through there were many discrete comments that made you realize just how low Alice has gotten herself and how much she has let go of 'everyday life'. Like " You never know who may be watching", or " a few mumbled words to a god she'd given up on a long time ago". Also, to show her depths of denial, she talks about wanting to spend her money on moving to a new, warmer city to be bum on a beach, and then spend the rest on liquor and a meal. Her character was extremely well developed.
I like the ending because it really shows that once you have lost everything, including the value of everyday things like a bed or money or a home, you never get that sence of value, or self worth back. Even when Alice was given the chance to turn her life around she was a slave to her drinking addiction and all she could think about was getting a bottle of liquor. Alice is stuck in a vicious cycle that will eventually take her life. This story opened up our eyes to this type of thing that normally we would have ignored.
After reading your short story Scratch Ticket I noticed many good points and a few negative ones. I think you have a very good and unique writing style. While reading this story, I found that I was able to predict what was going to happen with the exception of a few parts.
You have a very descriptive writing style, that helps the reader picture in their minds what is happening. My favorite part that was described was when Alice was digging through the garbage searching for her next meal, some alcohol or some money. One part that was disgusting was when you described Alice's lips. "perhaps just replused by her lips that were cracked and oozing pus, and her nearly toothless mouth." p.4. One part of the story that bothered me was when Alice was talking about how an old lady was rapped and beaten; the police did nothing to find the guy who did it.
Alice was the kind of person who would do anything for her next drink, and didn't care what people thought. After she had boughten some alcohol, she began yelling comments and random people that walked by. I think she thought that people expected her to act this way and that is why she did it. When Alice realises she had traded her ticket for two beers she doesn't seem to care. She just says o well maybe I can get ten dollars for this wallet. Anyone else would be kicking themselves in the butt if they traded $10 000 for two beers.
Their were a few things that I did not like about this story the fact that we had no previous knowledge about how Alice got to be a homeless person, no knowing what happened to the third ticket and how the story just seemed to end. Your character Alice was well developed and showed what the life of a homeless person is like. I felt like you were rushing and just wanted to finish the story. This story was good overall but left me looking for more.
As you know, we were given your short story The Scratch Ticket to read as an assignment this past week. It was a very interesting story for me due to a number of reasons; one being that it was probably the only short story I've read about homeless people and two, it was written in a way I would never expected it to be. For those two reasons I found meself thoroughly enjoying the story and at other times I wanted to put it down and walk away, never to think about it again.
Good news first. There were several aspects of the short story I was drawn to that I really liked. The fact that it was written about a homelesss person drew me into the story because I wanted to know how she managed to get through life from day to day. It made me think about myself and how grateful I should be that my family has enough money to provide the necessities we use everyday. By reading the story put things into a different perspective for me and it was nice to have someone from an entirely different lifestyle share that with us, the last thing I liked about the story was that you made it very realistic, or at least made it seem to be realistic by using as much detail as possible.
With the good comes the bad and visa versa, but you know it's not really bad it's just constructive criticism. Everyone has their own form of writing and I would never correct it to better suit my liking, unless I was told to. Evidently in this case I was. I didn't like how there was a sudden ending to the story. I wish there was more than, "she lost the money...the end." It was as if you just got tired of writing the story and left things out so you would finish quicker. I'm also not a big fan of cliff hangers, I'm the typer of person that wants to know everything without any questions still remaining after I'm done with whatever I'm reading. One of my biggest questions, was what actually happened to the money. I assumed she was robbed but how do we know that she didn't misplace the money? Another thing I wanted to know was how she got into her position as a homeless person. She couldn't have always been homeless. You never gave us much information on her personally. Another part was that you made her out to be a good person in a bad situation but when she had the chance to turn her life around she wasted it completely.
I just wish it wouldn't have left me with so many questions about Alice. Maybe those were your intentions, seeing as it was only a short story. Over all it was written very well.
I very much enjoyed reading this short story, the Scratch Ticket. There were quite a few reasons why I liked it but what mainly attracted me to it was the good imagery, the honesty of the characters and the realistic ending.
The imagery in this story was amazing. I could picture everything that was going on as if I was seeing it with my own two eyes. One of my favorite examples would have to be right at the very beginning when Alice is searching through the dumpster. It is described so perfectly. "Soon she had her entire arm stuffed in the shoebox-sized hole at the front and was feeling her way around blindly..."
I found the story to be very honest. The real situations that homeless people go through were not covered up. How the homeless are treated, how they find food and even how they have to bathe are all described. "She went to service stations where you didn't need to ask for the key to get into the bathroom; took off all of her clothes; washed sagging cracked skin, and her hair with gray bars of soap or the pink liquid hand soap you got out of a pump that was fastened to the wall."I found the cops were described best in the story. Though they were mentioned in almost a humorous, bitter way, it is still honest and true. "...but the new cops on the street, still brimming with a sense of duty and righteousness, might arrest her for vagrancy of public mischief -somthing official sounding anyway..."
The conclusion of this short story is my favorite aspect of it. The ending is very realistic. Alice does not live "happily ever after."Instead her addictions take over and she loses what she gained,which she needed so badly.
I really liked the Scratch Ticket. By discussing the aspects that I liked best, I discovered how much I really enjoyed it. I still have a question though. What happened with the third scratch ticket? Was it significant but forgotten? Or was it all done on purpose? "Alice tossed the ticket with the joker over the wall at her and didn't see the other unscratched ticket fall to the floor."
This is a very exciting experience actually writing my comments to the author, because it just doesn’t happen everyday. I love reading and this interactive commenting just takes it to a whole new level. “Scratch Ticket” is a very well written story with it’s great sense imagery, strong character, and one very realistic ending it made for a great read.
When Alice dug through the trash I could visualize it because we see people like that everyday. To see how she reacted when she found the wallet, hiding herself in the bathroom, showed me the inner side of people on the street and what they must go through everyday. Also when Alice yelled at the women on the street I felt as if I could be there witnessing it, having her yell at me it showed anger, desperation and envy, all things people struggle with everyday.
Alice seems to be such a strong character, a woman alone on the streets fighting against nature, people, and death but shows her weakness when she surrenders herself to liquor. It is so true how people give into liquor so easily it’s like a magnet to them and this realistically shows that. On the topic of realistic things I thought the ending was VERY realistic but somewhat of a let down. I guess I expected it t somewhat happen, a poor lady finally gets a little help only to lose it all and come out with nothing again. It was a very abrupt ending I thought maybe there would have been a little more story to it to kind of tell us of what Alice had done if she had went back to check on that other scratch ticket she left on the bathroom floor, or to find out what bar she went in. Alice had no remorse for losing the ticket either that surprised me because she had been so worked up the day before about everything she could do with it .
All in all, GREAT JOB, very enjoyable, I’m excited to read more of your stories. Thank You So Much!
Corey Charron, I thought that the imagery and the descriptions in your story were amazing. When you described Alice searching through the garbage and how dangerous it was, "Soon she had her entire arm stuffed in the shoebox-sized hole at the front and was feeling her way around blindly-dangerous because sometimes the druggies disposed of their dirty needles in the garbage cans." I thought that it showed just how desperate people that live on the street have to be to get food. I can't imagine having to live on the streets and go through what Alice had to go through from day to day. She had to scrounge for food like a rat, she had no place warm to go at night or in the winter, her total life savings were twenty-three dollars and forty-six cents, and she had no family or close friends to help her.
I also liked that when you're reading the story you expect a different ending, well i did anyhow. I honestly didn't expect her to lose the ticket to a bartender for "a glass or two of beer". I didn't notice that the her being an alcoholic was such a bad addiction but then I read it over and saw it. Being an alcoholic must be horrible and the way you incorporated Alice as an "alkie" was really good. It showed that she would do anything for one more drink and that is the reality of being an alcoholic.
I also found the story true to reality in the way everything was described in such detail. I think that sometimes it's the realism that really gets you into the story and I think that that's why I enjoyed reading this one so much.
I only have two questions....what happened to the third ticket? and why wasn't it incorporated in the story?
Dear Corey Charron,
When I read your story I believed it was good and had potential, however as I turned the pages, I slowly lost interest and the story appeared to become weeker and weeker as I neared the end. The eye opener we were suppose to recieve from a poor begger women down on her luck wasn't as profound as I would have expected due to the lack of care you have wrote your story with.
At the beginning you started off really well, introducing the character Alice and her problem with living on the streets but as the story proceded it seemed that you rushed the ending and most of all, forgot the importance of your character. During bits and pieces I really felt for her but after a while her character appeared rather dull, boring and had no personality.( she was extremely vague)I found this problem when I looked over your descriptions you had given, and personally she apears to be invisable and extremely hard to picture, with you only describing her hair, hands, cloths, and toothless smile. You also forgot to mention Alice's age and without this small detail it makes it rather difficult to picture where she stands in the real world. Other than this, your writing is over crowded by the numerous mistakes and some unclear decriptions you had made, for example, "or maybe the of are dykes" and " Pushing her arm back through the slot to make sure she hadn't missed anything, Alice scanned up and down the front of the train station". It appears at some points you have her doing two different things at the same time which makes it rather confusing to follow. These small errors and strange words you've weaved together gives your story the apearance of a draft copy. All in all your story was okay and felt pretty real, however, it isn't all that good either, for the full portion of the story revolves around your character, Alice, walking and roaming throughout your nameless town.
I really liked your story "Scratch Ticket" a lot, i found it very interesting and descriptive. It kept me reading it from start to finnish, and not too many stories really do that for me. I really liked the way that you described how she searched through the garbage can looking for anything she could have some use for, it really shows what homeless people have to go through now-a-days.
I think the best reason for me liking this story was the way that you described everything that Alice did and why. Like for example when she starts yelling at random people you would explain her thoughts and why she is doing such a thing for no apparent reason. It gives a very good perspective on what homeless life is really like in a big city today.
I really enjoyed the fact about how she could have fixed her life but since she has been this way for so long, she just didn't know any better and just bought cigarettes and liquor and ruined her future.
The one thing that i found suprising was how abruptly it ended, it was very well written but i didn't really like the end result, it just happened so fast. It's almost as if you left out the descriptive factor that you used all throughout the story.
The only thing I was wondering is what happened to the other scratch ticket that Alice through at the wall, you even mentioned that she forgot about it.
Good afternoon.
Just dropping by to comment on your short story, "Scratch Ticket".
To begin with, I would like to say that the way you weave your storyline so intricately makes me green with envy. I am an aspiring author myself, and though I believe I can write well, the coherency that you have displayed is just out of my grasp. The language and description used to illustrate the character of Alice brings an image to my mind that, to me, is a far better visualization than any high-budget movie production can create. The paragraph near the beginning of the story, in which Alice is digging through the garbage can really stood out to me. Not because of the subject matter, but because of the descriptive terms.
Although I do enjoy your writing style, I must admit I did not entirely enjoy the story itself. Although you put a good spin on it, I must admit that I have seen this story in different mediums numerous times before. Throughout the story, I was not tied to the character or drawn into her personality or the events around her; I read the story because it was an assignment. This said, it does not mean I would never read your work; as I have stated before, I enjoy your writing style tremendously.
One thing that I noticed about this story- and I'm sure you'll hear this from others- is that the ending did not feel anything like an ending at all; in fact, it was more like a prologue, or a cliffhanger episode you would see on television. I believe I understand why you left the story at that point- to further develop the character of Alice and show that she is in a cycle- but I believe that you might have been able to take the story a little further and give it either a twist or another hook. But as I have found in my attempts with writing- this may not apply to you- it is hard to drag out certain stories, some appear to end exactly where you have finished your original idea.
Oddly enough, as I write this response, I have caught myself in a web of lies. A web of lies I did not see at first, mind you. I told you I was not attached the character; if I were not, I would not have had any reaction at the end of the story. Indeed I did have a reaction. My reaction was one of almost smug condescension as Alice slipped into the cycle that I knew she was destined to be in. Maybe I am a bad person for feeling like this, but the point is that I felt something at all.
And I guess that means that your story affected me. Curses. So much for not getting involved in it.
The story itself aside, I am told that you will be offering responses to our comments. As a finishing note, I would like to ask; did you take any formal education to become an established author and, furthermore, did it actually aid you as much as it was worth? I'm off to university next year, and I would like to have a warning in case I'm wasting time and money I do not have.
Thank you for your time.
-Matthew Clarke
After a very annalistic read of the short story “the Scratch Ticket” I am sad to say I was left unimpressed. Though I did find the overall technical side of the story was well written, including the words used to create vibrant, powerful scenes and stirring imagery in the mind but I was not drawn into the context or the story.
The basic plot and content seemed pointless and unnecessary; I couldn’t connect to the character. There was no character development to make me care for her and her problems. This may have been some attempt at creating symbolism for how we as a society view the homeless but I think the symbolism was lost as the story developed and made for an uninteresting read.
I can relate to and understand the fact that you were simply trying to create a realistic story, however when the authenticity of a story takes away from the plot and content the reader will lose interest and not care about the theme you maybe trying to convey. I still admire your use of realism but honestly felt it took away from the story instead of adding to it.
By no means is this short story bad or poorly written but it certainly isn’t anything special and nothing truly great emerged from this story. I was left disappointed not satisfied; especially when the context had so much potential. It’s nothing personal; it’s just what I thought.
First and foremost I would like to begin by saying what a treat this is to be able to actually interact with the authors of the literature that we students read. So often we learn about Shakespeare and other deceased writers, but it’s very beneficial to discuss our interpretations instead of being told what they should be. Posted by Alexandria
I whole-heartedly agree with this, it's not like we can ring William Shakespeare on the phone and be all like "So what's goin on Billy?" and him be all "Not too much."
Alexandria, I really liked what you said here.
I agree with what Matt Clark said.
The plot flows well.
In response to the "jared said" reaction, I would like to say that, Jared, I think that you should read the story over because you obviously missed the point or just didn't pay attention. The author deserves more than that.
I thought that this story was well written. One of the things I liked the most about it was that it was very descriptive. When you described Alice's lips as "cracked and oozing pus, and her nearly toothless mouth" I had a vivid image in my mind and I was slightly repulsed by it. I also liked how you described Alice's reaction when she first found out that she had won $10 000.
I thought that this story painted a good picture of a homeless person living on the streets. One of the parts I thought showed this best was in the beginning when Alice was rummaging through garbage and informed us that she could tell what anything she touched was without looking at it. Also when she took out her half eaten sub and started eating it like it had been hers all along.
I thought it was evident that a lot of time was spent building up the story and it's character. However when I was reading I found if easy to predict what was going to happen to Alice. Even though I could see that she would loose the ticket, I was a little disappointed in the end. It's not that I thought the ending didn't suit the story. It's just that I felt you had spent all this time making such a great story to end it hastily. I felt that there should have been more of what Alice thought of the situation, if she had learned anything from it.
Something I was wondering while reading this story was what happened with the third scratch ticket that Alice dropped in the bathroom? I was a bit confused to see that you made a point about her dropping it then didn't mention the ticket again throughout the rest of the story. Another thing I was wondering while reading this story was what had Alice done to be living on the streets? I wanted to know more, if she had a family, friends, and if it was because of her addiction to alcohol that she had lost everything.
All in all I thought the story was a good one and even thought I wanted to know more, I didn't mind reading it.
I agree with what Graham said.
Also, reading his comment, it further explains the plot to me in a way that I did not take the time to see it. Alice was what she was and nothing would change that.
Well done, Graham. Well done.
I agree with Graham when he refers to how Alice embraced her alcoholism. It's sad how someone who becomes so accustom to having nothing, settles for just that in life and never strives for anything more.
Dear Corey Charron:
My name is Courtney Atkinson and I was asked to read and review your story “Scratch Ticket” for my English class. We were told to give you our honest feed back on your story so that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll start off by telling what I think and then I’ll go on to tell you the whys of the matters.
First off I would like to say that I love your writing style and as an avid reader I don’t say that lightly. But the way it was written could have used a little work. I loved the way you started the story, it was full of description and life! It seemed so real with the way you “spoke” of how Alice dug through the trash. Feeling her way about it!
It was truly amazing, but it seemed to me that part way through the story you lost interest and wanted to finish it as fast as possible! When I finished the story I sat there for a couple of minutes wondering if I somehow lost the last pages of the story! You hadn’t said what had happened to the other unscratched lotto ticket or told us the how and the why of Alice’s homeless situation!
It left me wanting more… It seemed to me to be the first half to a story that remains untold… Maybe you meant it that way so you could write a second part and maybe you didn’t, that’s for you to know and me to find out.
I hope to read more by you soon! Thank you for listening to what I had to say.
Courtney Atkinson
Corey,
I can honestly say that I did not enjoy the content of this story. I don’t mean this to sound harsh, because what enjoyed your style of writing. It’s just that I have seen this story before, over and over again. I felt that your style of writing could be applied to something that fits it.
I also can say that I felt no attachment to this character at all. I did not know much of her back story, I did not know where she was coming from, and I didn’t feel that she was real. What I felt towards her was nothing, not pity, not anger, not happiness for her. I did enjoy the dialogue, however. I also didn’t like the ending. It was the climax, and six ( I think) paragraphs later it’s the end. I didn’t feel like the story finished. It felt like you were in a rush to get it done, and just scribbled something down. It didn’t really tie anything up, and it didn’t really feel done.
I would like to see your writing style applied to a different genre, as I truly enjoyed it. I just wish I could say the same about the story.
Your Short Story “Scratch Ticket” was the topic of discussion in my English 121 class for the last few days. I read it, and have a few opinions of my own regarding your story, particularly your character, Alice.
Your protagonist seemed, to me, to lack a bit of development. When finished reading the story, I thought to myself “now what?” Don’t get me wrong, the story was real well written; I just sort of found that we got nothing out of Alice when the story concluded.
Also, I got the impression that the story itself ended pretty quickly. To me, it felt more suited as a prologue for a much larger story. This being said, I believe that if you were to expand on the plot, and add a bit more detail, this could well be on it’s way to being a novel. With all this said, one must remember that just as the fading winter makes room for spring, my foregone conclusion clears the path for praise.
I found your descriptions to be positively vivid and clear, and ultimately realistic. The description about Alice reaching into the garbage can, and on her paranoia from being on the streets for so long to be particularly well-written. Likewise, your take on her moods and thoughts thoroughly impressed me.
And so, as I reach to the bottom of the barrel looking for more compliments to dish out, notice that I’m beginning to ramble on. I just want you to know, Mr. Charron, that your writing style and imaginative plotlines and ideas for stories surpass much more than what I’ve read in the past.
Kudos, and keep on writing!
Brennan McGee
I just finished reading everyone's posts and am quite impressed with the comments you have made. I hope you will continue to post and respond to others.
Matt C. asked a good question - not relating specifically to the story but about being a writer...check it out. You might think of something along these lines you want to ask about.
Also, one thin thet we shuld werk on is hour spellin =)
It is awesome to see such an amazing job being done by the students from JMH. As a former teacher of many students on this site, it makes me very proud to witness such a high quality of work being produced. I am really enjoying reading your comments on Mr. Charron's work.
Joey Savoy
District Office
Hey all!
Thanks for reading my story. One of the things that stands out in my mind from all of the comments I have read so far is that some of your weren't satisfied with the ending. This was also a common complaint with Robin Martin's Grade Ten class. I can understand the feeling. You get into a story and expect all of the loose ends to be tied up nicely by the end, and then when they aren't, you feel ripped off. Been there many times myself, but doesn't it sometimes leave you feeling a little unfulfilled? I'm going to go a little further here than I did with Mr. Martin's class and tell you how I think things went after the final page (but to be honest, like you, I don't really know for sure). So, this is way I see it in my little crystal ball: Alice searched around for her bag and probably found it because really, who else would want the crap that was no doubt inside. Then she would have made a call to the wallet's owner and he might have given her a few bucks, but for some reason I'm doubt it. And if he did give her a fiver or something, we all know where that would have ended up, don't we? As for her life, I think it would have stayed along the same path it had been on for as long as she had been out there in the streets. She might eventually straighten herself out, but she obviously wasn't ready yet.
Now if I had written more, I might have changed my mind, but it seems to me if I had that would have cleared up most of the questions. My question then is this: did any of the added information really surprise you? As my mother and wife always like to say to me, I'm not a mind reader, but somehow I doubt any of your were falling off your seats from the shock of it all. I think all of it was certainly implied by my ending, but instead I was hoping you would keep thinking about the ending after you had finished with the final page. And that is why I also omitted the explanation about the third ticket. Like most of you I bet, I'm pretty sure it was a dud, but a part of me wonders. I mean, how rotten would that be? Alice gets tanked and loses the money she never even had the pleasure of actaully holding in her grubby little hands, and some woman with a bad case of gas strikes it rich (and not just ten grand) with the ticket she tossed away. But who knows? Even I still sometimes think about it and wonder, which is a good thing, isn't? Whenever I write I story I always believe that my readers are smart enough to figure some things out on their own.
And I'm sure like you, I'm wondering why the heck some of the comments were deleted from the site? What did they do?
Looking forward to reading the rest of your comments.
Corey
Hi again,
I just read a few more and some of you were apologizing for not liking the story. Don't worry. I'm just glad you gave it a chance (even if it was assigned). Personally, I just like hearing what people have to say about my writing, regardless of whether it is good or bad, and as long as you say more than just, "It sucked, man! BORING!" - which none of you did - because that wouldn't help me out at all. Lastly, for now, I want to compliment you on your writing. All of the reviews are good reads.
Thanks again.
Corey
Hey folks,
Just to address the comments that were deleted, it wasn't that anything bad was written, some of you included your email address or a "myspace" link in the comments and I just reposted the comment (they will be near the end of the thread) with the info deleted. My apologies folks, when I got into this with the help of District Office, we had all agreed to maximize the safety of the students and keep your personal info out of cyberspace (through this link). If you would like to correspond with Corey via email, we can provide you with his address!
Your comments are not gone, just moved (and edited a little bit)!
Thanks,
Mr. Martin
mark, you have asked a lot of questions in your respons, In my openion isn't the point of a story like scratch ticket to keep the reader guessing guessing and thinking long after the story.
Brittany:
Agree fully when you said that Alice was a weakly developed character but the thing is you have to use your imagination. That's what reading is all about... using your imagination. If you can't imagine than what's the point of reading?
Courtney Atkinson
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