'Untitled' Short Story
“Thump, thump. Thump, thump.” The man’s heart was beating so loud, and so fast, he was positive it would reveal his location. A single bead of sweat trickled down his forehead, and fell into his eyes. He shuddered. How could he be sweating when it was so cold out? He exhaled, and found he could see his breath amidst the crisp, autumn air. He drew his jacket a little tighter, and looked up at the dark night sky. Well above his head, the stars were shining brightly, just as they had the night before, as if nothing had gone wrong between then and now.
Jenna and Bryce have submitted a short story. Several students in the class should appreciate the ending.
Read the entire story here.
Posted by Craig D.(ED16) for Robin M.
posted by Craig @ 3:01 PM
13 comments
13 Comments:
hey sweet story I never saw the ending coming. But i think you should give it an original title.
I assume that was the missing piece of "Declan Carrol's Unfortunate Death." All I can say is, finally!
That was an amazing story, it touched my black twisted heart. Unlike Chris I seen that ending comming, but this was still a excellent story. I would also like to see you give this a title, like "Declan Carrol's, Escape For Eternity", or something.
Great idea! It really worked out well. I can tell that you really know how to shake the readers with a wicked twist.
Which was planned first, the conclusion or the intro?
At first we were just thinking about writing about a guy on the run from the law. All along we wanted to incorporate a twist, we just didn't know what it would be. Somehow we thought if using Declan Carroll, and everything went from there.
Oh, well you know bryce and the team just went out and gave 110%. haha. I liked how you used Declan Carrol, because Corey's story with Declan didn't satisfy me like this.
I liked the story, however in my openion I really had a completly different outlook on the subject of Declan's death. I have a question though is that the whole story or is there more?I never had the chance to read your soft copie.
Well written.
I very easily got lost in this short story. I very quickly came to sympathize with the main character.
The main character was developed really well. As a reader, I appreciated the attention that was paid to describing the setting. Through this short story, you took me on a journey... thank you.
I'll be curious to see what Corey thinks of your 'prequel'.
Hey all, good on you. Thought it was well developed; short, quick, and to the point, just the way I like it. Only one complaint here: It is my belief that the very end should have had a bit more detail, perhaps a hospital bed scene or so. This would only have improved the already fine ending, I liked how the accident was completely unpredictable.
Wow, that was a really twisted story. I never thought for one moment that the guy was Declan Caroll. Great job!
Good work! Like everyone else, I didn't see the ending coming at all. A title would have been a good idea, but I think it would have gave away the ending.
Loved the story!
Great ending, i totally didn't expect it. Nice writing skills.
Loved the story, the ending was a surprise. I'm glad you didn't title it, it would have given the surprise away. Tricksters.
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